Bilingual Benefits

Yes, I'm bilingual; I speak Portuguese.  Now, don't ask me if it's the same as Spanish.  It isn't, okay?  I work in a county government office, and there are times when we cannot find a person who speaks enough Spanish to speak to a client, or a victim..etc..  I've tried believe me.  I first explain that I speak Portuguese:  "Eu falo portugues. No hablo espanhol..."  After I say that, I usually get a smile, and a shake of a head.  I then try to communicate.  After I attempt to communicate with them in Portuguese with the little Spanish that I do know, I usually get this reaction:  A bigger smile, or a chuckle, and more shakes of the head.  At this point, I usually have to resort to body language, and a business card with a number to a Spanish speaking probation officer.  The person then leaves the office smiling usually, or laughing.  Oh, well, at least I made their day, right?   

I can understand Spanish when it's in written form, but if I hear it, I'm lost.  Apparently, however, I do not pronounce Spanish G's or H's correctly.  G's in Portuguese are pronounced like English J's.  I once had to call someone on the phone whose name happened to be Guillermo, and I totally masacured his name, and he let's just say he was NOT happy with me.  Well, EXCUSE ME!!!  Another time, I was scolded on the phone years back for pronouncing the city La Jolla wrong.  "You live in California, and you don't even know how to pronounced La Jolla correctly?!...blah blah blah"  WELL, EXCUSE ME!!!!!

Anyway, I do have a co-worker here that was born in the Azores, from Sao Jorge, and although I think her accent is "funny"..(ha ha ... each island has it's own accent), I find it remarkable that we should be working in the same office.  I mean, think about it.  The Azores are nine islands, little specs in the Atlantic Ocean, and what are the chances that two people, from two different families  from the same area are now so damn far away in the same place.  It boggles my mind how many Azoreans that I run into.  Well, it's great because if we really need to tell eachother something in private, we can just speak, and no one understands.  I know that may sound rude, but I'm sorry.  It's not like we are talking about you...well, as long as you don't give us an excuse, we won't talk about you, unless of course you are REALLY annoying.  Would it be better if we spoke about you in English when we take are bathroom break?  Or if we spoke to you while we were fixing your nails?

I know those lovely women who fix my nails talk about me.  They say, "This woman's hands are too heavy!  Her fingers look like sausages!  She won't relax her hand!  Someone give me a brick so she can stick her hand on it while I try to fix these nails!"  And you know, it's totally okay with me--TOTALLY.