20 years ago...

Twenty years ago, life was different. 

I was 22, and ready to give birth to a little baby girl.  

No matter how many times you hear the phrase:  "Once you have a baby, your whole life changes." You don't really comprehend it until you experience it first hand.  It's an unexplainable fact, that no one, but you can understand.  Your first instinct is to protect your child from all the ugliness in the world.  Unfortunately, you can't protect them from all of it, but you do your best.  Having a baby will not save a marriage.  You make the best of things, you shield them as much as you can.  You hope they don't sense that something is wrong at home, but they know. 

 I will never forget the 8 year old girl holding her suitcase of belongings at the doorway.  Never again. 

Seems like yesterday when I was in the car with my parents on the way to JCPenney in search of a basinet.  I was due to give birth in 2 days, and there I was wearing my acid wash, oversized denim jumper, and size 10 slip on espadrilles.  Yes, I was so huge, my feet were so swollen they were actually coming out of my shoes!  It was that day I decided on the full name of my daughter:  Elizabeth Rose   I didn't realize it was Queen Elizabeth's name--it just worked out that way.  My grandmother's name was Rose, and I liked the sound of it.  It was either Elizabeth or Jennifer (after my beloved pet chicken), so I picked Elizabeth.  Her father liked it too, so that was that. 

So with the help of Erik Estrada (yes, can't forget him), 20 years ago, on her due date, I gave birth to a beautiful, curly haired, brown eyed little girl named Elizabeth Rose.  God had answered my prayers when I saw the dark spirals of hair growing on her scalp.  As soon as she was given to me for the first time, wrapped in the hospital blanket, I noticed how she began to survey her surroundings.  She was wide awake, and she looked right at me.  It was as though we had met again for the first time after years and years of knowing eachother before.  Her eyes went about the room, curiously looking around, expecting life around her to finally happen.

That baby has not changed much since then.  She is a bag of energy, a pillar of strength, courageous and determined, self-confident and beautiful.  People stop and listen when she speaks--she makes things happen-never made to be a victim-never.  She is everything I wish I was more of... 

Happy Birthday Elizabeth---I'm so glad you were born.  I've been very blessed to be in your company.