Online Dating Advice

The following was just written on my other journal at Diaryland!  Gee...I must have been psychic.  The following may be words of wisdom to some people--I'll let you decide.  As for expecting my children to follow these rules?  Gee...I hope they never find themselves in that situation.  I would not wish online dating on anyone.  Let's just say that I am so HAPPY my husband found me when he did!!!

Here are some hints and helpful tips for those who choose online dating:

If you are looking at pictures of prospective dating material, remember that this person has voluntarily put this picture up for your viewing pleasure, and it is the BEST picture they can find of themselves. In other words: It don't get better than this!
Try and look for any tell tale hints of when the picture was taken---look at the hair style and clothing: Does this person have BIG hair, wearing polyester, or sporting a Dorthy Hamill haircut or the Achy Breaky Heart (squirming in my chair right now) the MULLET? Is he or she hiding behind a car? Can you see where the scissors cut out someone who he/she took the picture with? Most perplexing is if someone puts out a wedding picture of themselves--especially when you can still see hints of the bridal veil brushing against the tuxedo, or the shoulder of an unseen person wearing a tuxedo. Look also for a date the picture was taken on the side of the photo. If it's 5 years old--beware. Also, if you can't see the pupil of the eyes, there is a reason why the photo was taken faraway. Lastly, that may not be the person you THINK it is.

If you exchange phone numbers, and actually hear this person's voice; don't be fooled by the voice. True, you can learn a lot by speaking to someone on the phone--but don't be blown away by an exceptional English or Brazilian accent--that includes men who are named "Fabio", and people who borrow televisions from their neighbors when they want to rent a movie--(long story).

Be leary of someone who wants to know TOO MUCH about you. I once met this one guy who took out his briefcase and literally filled his electronic notebook with my likes and dislikes in front of me. I never saw this person again--too scary.

Just because this person claims he is a fireman, don't assume this guy is someone you can find in a Fireman Calendar. They aren't all that buffed. Some actually look pretty homely and spend their afternoons consuming endless plates of chocolate chip cookies while waiting for a fire call. "Would you like to see my scar from when I got bit my an Emu?" Again, never ASSUME!!

When meeting someone for the first time, NEVER agree to go out to dinner unless the restaurant you are going to have several descret exits, or a nice big window in the bathroom for an escape. Meet at a coffee house was there is little time commitment, and always stage a call for your cell phone. Have a friend or child call you at a certain time so you have a good excuse to end the "date".

Also, don't be too shy to flat out ask these people if they are married. Some people will disclose this information right away, or say the word "separated". What does that mean? Separated does not count. If they aren't divorced---they are still married. Just keep that for thought--if they treat their spouse that way, don't be suprised if they treat you any differently! Think about it--don't be suprised if you are lied too--they are trying to meet people online--how much more discret can you find other people? They can talk to you with their spouse just right down the hall from where they are sitting...think about it. Although there are many honest people online simply looking for that special someone who would rather be at home "shopping" instead of being at the bar with their loser friends--there are still the same amount of jerks out there fooling around.

Lastly---the best place to meet a person is offline. I know you've heard this all before, but from experience--it's the best route. Let's just say, although they were learning experiences, the percentage of success of my own "online "relationships" is about 5% -and I'm being kind. Be open to meeting new people out in the real world. I was told that you can meet a lot of people at church, grocery stores, and children events--but--I think that really only happens on T.V., or awful Lifetime for Women episodes. Be willing to be "fixed up"---meet people---get dressed up and go to a party where you know there will be other single people!

Okay, I'm done now; you have been warned.