Old Songs...

I'm here at work, alone again, naturally...  Now, that is just fine with me, believe me, I'd rather have it this way.  Boss lady is gone for the day!  Yippee! 

I do admit though, it sometimes gets lonely here at work with no one to talk to.  I can hear my other co-workers in the next room chatting away, and laughing...and I sometimes feel out of the loop, but that is okay, because I got my little cassette player on my radio to work, and I'm listening to an old cassette tape that I haven't heard in YEARS...  I'm not kidding!  I thought the thing was broken, but with a little determination I got the little sucker to work.  I don't remember what songs I had on this tape, and now it's all coming back to me..  I am enjoying these forgotten tunes of my past.  They are a reflection of what my life was at, and my frame of mind during that time.  I recorded these tunes, at least 6 years ago; during a very emotional, changing and hard, unsettled, desheveled, but at the same time, exciting time in my life.  It was a time of lots of hopes of a new beginnings; being single, dating again, and trying to raise two kids as best as I can without the help of their father who flew away to New Jersey to be a woman he met on the internet...  But, don't feel sorry for me.  He did me a favor in a major way; he is someone elses misery now.. (Poor stupid woman)

The following song is one on my old cassette.  I considered it  MY song at the time I heard it for it pretty much explains how my life was going at the time, and I could so know what she was saying in this song.   Thought I'd share. 

Me,  By Paula Cole  

i am not the person who is singing
i am the silent one inside
i am not the one who laughs at people's jokes
ijust pacify their egos
i am not my house or my car or my songs
they are only just stops along my way
i am like winter
i'm a dark cold female
with a golden ring of wisdom in my cave
CHORUS:
and it is me who is my enemy
me who beats me up
me who makes the monsters
me who strips my confidence
i am carrying my voice
i am carrying my heart
i am carrying my rhythm
i am carrying my prayers
but you can't kill my spirit
it's soaring and it's strong
like a mountain
i go on and on
but when my wings are folded
the brightly colored moth
blends into the dirt into the ground
chorus
and it's me who's too weak
and it's me who's too shy
to ask for the thing i love
and it's me who's too weak
and it's me who's too shy
to ask for the thing i love
that i love (6 times)
i am walking on the bridge
i am over the water
and i'm scared as hell
but i know there's something better
yes i know there's something
yes i know, i know, yes i know
that i love (5 times overlapping chorus)
but it's me
and it's me
but it's me (4 times)