Mr. Silva

"Damn!  Why does he have to bring that awful old man to the graduation?!" 

Mr. Silva is an older man who has been friends with my ex-husband for a number of years.  I briefly mentioned him earlier in a previous entry about my daughter's graduation.  I will confess to you, that I had no desire to see this man at my daughter's graduation, and I made it no secret to anyone the day before the graduation how I was not looking forward to sitting near him that day.  But, as of luck would have it, I not only saw him at the graduation, but actually spoke with him face to face; and you know what?  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  The anger and resentment I had for this man, kind of melted away once I found myself talking to him. 

Here is the story about Mr. Silva..

My ex-husband met this man, when we were still married.  He would often come by to our home, and spend hours sitting in our living room chatting away, while drinking decaffeinated tea, which I would prepare for him.  He would chat away with the ex about a number of things; soccer, his secret to a healthy life (which included this particular tea that I found myself buying at the store especially for him), as well as his childhood, his immigration to the United States, his first marriage...etc...  To make a long story short, he and my ex-husband had a lot to talk about.  They both shared a love for soccer, and were both born in the Azores..etc...etc..  I would sit there on the couch at times with them, being the gracious hostess, and hear all about Mr. Silva and his stories of life.  He spoke candidly about his ex-wife, his affair with the teacher he met while working as a janitor at a high school, and all of his girlfriends.  He accredited his many list of girlfriends to his good health, and bright blue eyes--a real lady's man. 

 There were times I wanted to roll my eyes, and leave the room when Mr. Silva appeared at my door.  Okay, he had blue eyes, and he was Portuguese---I have a number of cousins who share this trait.  Big deal!  I had a birthday party for my son one year, and there was Mr. Silva there at the party surrounded by my two aunts.  My aunt made a comment about Mr. Silva's eyes. 

"Oh, your blue eyes remind me of my father's eyes," remarked my Aunt Addie. 

Oh please!  I thought to myself.... Please don't compare this man to my grandfather!  Needless to say, I am not kidding when I tell you that Mr. Silva couldn't get enough of the compliments, and I know he was flirting with both of my aunts right in front of me.  I wanted to hurl. 

Well, it wasn't long until I learned that my ex-husband and Mr. Silva had even more things in common.  Both of them got internet girlfriends during the same time!  Isn't that special?! 

During my divorce proceedings, I came up to the house to retrieve my son's bunk bed.  We had just sold the house, and both I and the ex were moving belongings into boxes.  Although I was grateful that I was not alone in the house with him at the time, I was not happy whatsoever to see Mr. Silva in my former kitchen, speaking on my kitchen phone, talking away with my ex-husband's married, Canadian internet-girlfriend.  There was no doubt it was her.  My ex purposively loudly announced her name to his friend, Mr. Silva that she was on the phone, and wanted to say hello...  Upon that moment, I thought of Mr. Silva as the scum of the Earth, as he took the phone gleefully and spoke away to "the other woman" (of many) in my presence.  I wanted to throw things at that point, but I felt so insulted and shocked at the same time, I proceeded to go upstairs and put all my frustration focused on unscrewing the bolts on the bunk bed.  Later I was joined by my brother, and a family friend who happened to work with my ex, who came up solely to apologize to me. 

You would think that would be enough to dislike this man, Mr. Silva.  But, no...  It doesn't stop there..  When my ex "disappeared" and moved to New Jersey, without leaving an address or phone number, no child support, I knew he would relay this information to his good friend, Mr. Silva.  I called him, and of course, being the loyal friend that he was, refused to give me any sort of information about his whereabouts.  I reminded Mr. Silva that I had two children to care for, but he told me that he "didn't want to be involved"..  Click..

So, here I am, on a beautiful day in June at my daughter's graduation, and here comes Mr. Silva, looking a lot older, a lot smaller, saying hello with his little beatty blue eyes, under a large black fedora hat.  Yep..he reminded me of a grandfather I used to know, and I could not ignore him.  He came to congratulate me and my daughter, and went on to say that he was very proud of her.  He also asked me if he saw my ex-husband around.

  "I had to go to the bathroom, and I asked him to wait for me, but he wasn't there when I came out!" 

Eventually, I'm sure he found his partner in crime, (the ex).  I didn't stay to find out.  It was obvious that my ex wasn't interested in seeing me or meeting my husband, and was probably hiding out, and looking at us from a distance to avoid any confrontation between him and my mother in particular. 

My daughter later told me that her father later had told her that Mr. Silva actually cried during the ceremony.  What?!  She couldn't understand it herself.  For a moment there, I actually felt sorry for this old guy, and I guess it was just time to forgive and forget.  It kind of made me feel bad for all the stuff I had said about him that day..  I guess it was God paying me back for all those bad feelings, and words I had spoken earlier that day.  Talk about Catholic guilt...  Bad, Julie...BAD!!

But, don't feel too sorry for Mr. Silva.  He is a happy man.  He has a new Vietnamese wife who is about 40 years his junior.  I'm sure she makes him a lot of decaffeinated tea, and keeps him happy.