It's Friday--- Smile

I got this in an email this morning--thought I would share... 

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline)

                                              

Jeanette Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Jeanette's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Jeanette replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Jeanette refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Jeanette had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Jeanette is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

Here's another..

WATCH OUT FOR THOSE POLISH WOMEN!

 

An elderly Polish man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite  pierogi with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

Downstairs, he leaned against the do or frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite pierogi.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the pierogi was already in his mouth. With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

 

"Back off!" she said. "Those are for the funeral."

 

(If the wife was Portuguese, she would have let her husband eat, and the husband would have choked to death.) 

Quinta Feira/Thursday :)

Thanks Missie for the cute graphic! :)

It's Thursday...and it's pay day---my favorite day of the week..

Of course the receptionist is not here again (she has the "flu" and will be gone the rest of the week) so I've been lucky to sit up front this morning, and again this afternoon.  I'm sooo thrilled.  I got this one guy come in the lobby, all huffy wearing a tie, with "the world revolves around me attitude" with this silly idea in his head that he "doesn't belong" in the lobby, and because he felt he was "better" than anyone else, wanted "expedited" service.  Oh please..  Not surprisingly, he was on our domestic violence caseload at one time.  The men on these caseloads tend to be better looking, but for the most part, display attitude problems (I'm being nice here--there are other words I could use to describe them.)  Well this guy was giving me so much attitude because I wasn't giving him the answers he wanted, so I had to call the "enforcement's" in (my supervisor).  Of course, he was overly pleasant with her.. 

We got a bonus check at work today.. Well, everyone by me.  I got a pay stub, without the check.  Looks like the machine made a goofy error, and didn't print out the check.  I noticed everyone had a net amount and net pay amount on theirs--mine had nothing.  Lovely.  I know I'll get another check printed, but what a hassle, and why me?  Unlucky me, I guess.. 

In other news, I got my first online order from someone I don't know!  It was quite a surprise.  The person went directly to the Avon website, and looked for a representative in her area.  She typed in her zip code, and voila--my name showed up!  Lucky me!  :)  It was a nice surprise.  I hope I can find more customers that way. 

It's Thursday..  Almost the end of the week.  I am sooo ready for the weekend. 

Meme Time

Ms. Dawn has set up another Meme...  So, here it is~  Feel free to play along!

1) What I was doing ten years ago:
Oh gosh..  Ten years ago, this month was a very uneasy year.  I was still married to the ex-husband with his Jeckyl and Hyde personality.  I never knew who was coming through that door each night after work.  I think at this point I already had a bag of luggage in my closet.  I was contemplating whether or not to see a counselor.  I eventually did, but of course the ex refused to go, so I went alone.  I was told everything that I needed to do--I already knew what I needed to do; but of course I had to hear it from someone else.  It was the first time in my life I confided in someone about the years of abuse I went through.  It was liberating, but at the same time, a very frightening time.  My son Andrew was 3-as cute as ever (people still thought he was a girl), and poor Lizzy was a very impressionable 9 year old who unfortunately witnessed the drama. 

2.) Five years ago:

2002:  A very bittersweet year.  I met Rich (husband) the year before, and I was very happy.   I decided late in 2001, that working 3 jobs was not the solution to my economic woes, so I put on a brave face, and moved in with my parents.  It was a tight squeeze with me and the two kids, but I would eventually learn that being with my parents at that time would prove to be the right place to be.  My father was diagnosed with liver cancer a 5 months after the move.  They needed me there.  It was the year my dad died.  I don't know what I would have done without Rich at my side during this time.  It felt like a part of me died that year.  (I still feel a part of me gone.) I was thankful that my dad met my future husband. 

3) One year ago:  October of 2006, things were good!  We were getting ready for Halloween, and Lizzy was starting her first year in college.  I think I was already planning Nick's 3rd birthday, and my in laws were coming over.  I was thinking about a trip to the Azores back then.  And I was already toying with the idea of passports.  Little did I know I should have done it all at that time. 

4.) Yesterday: Busy as usual.  Wake up children, take them to school, my mom's...go to work.  Easy day at work.  Sent in my Avon order.  Went to pick up Nick from my mom's and dropped him off at daycare.  Went to pick him up later, only to find him weeping away at daycare.  His "best friend" Beau bit him.  Lovely.  Wiped away the tears, put him in the car, and proceeded to pick up Andrew from his friend's house.  Got him, and because of desperate pleas of hunger pains gave in and went through the drive thru so Andrew could have a Big Mac.  Apparently the kid did not eat lunch due to a long long line.  Drove home, to find Lizzy waiting.  Drove her to work, came back, and fed the men folk.  Rested.  Wheew..  Cleaned..  Wheww..  Put Nicholas on the toilet, and gave him a bath.  Checked on husband who was working away in the garage programming parts.  Played on the computer, and put my pajamas on.  Put Nicholas to bed.  Went out and picked up Lizzy from work (yes in pajamas).  Got home and went to bed.  Snuggle with my honey---while listening to the older kids make too much noise.  After a few pleas to send the kids to bed, I slept like a log... :) 

Back To Work

Another day at the ghetto..

Actually, the day wasn't that bad.  I was given a few compliments over my $1.50 dress, and a day without the toilets over flowing is always a good day, but of course, the receptionist was a no show again today.  I wonder what's wrong now.  Her arms can't be falling off anymore--she has a new computer, that is now costumed designed for her comfort..  What could be wrong now? 

We think she may be moonlighting. 

Perhaps she is an undercover spy, or a table top dancer? 

Or, did she fall into another gopher hole?  (Yes, she actually called in that excuse once.) If she did, it may mean that she will be gone for weeks.  I once called in sick once because I truly felt sick.  I had been cleaning with bleach one Sunday, and I really felt sick to my stomach the next day.  I was told that "had never heard such an excuse"  Well, gee..  May be I should have said I fell in a sink hole--may be I would have been given a more sympathetic response?  It just really confuses me how some people will get away with almost murder at a work place, and no one bats an eye, until the "dependable, worker bee" type people do anything out of character, like call in sick!  Imagine that.  Oh well..  I'm not complaining. 

I now know why my feet have been hurting me lately.  Don't laugh now, but, since I moved the computer up in my room, it's been sitting on a low coffee table.  I don't have a chair, so I've been sitting on my feet.  Duh..  The pain is from my big butt sitting on my poor feet.  Imagine that!  I was quite relieved when I realized this, because I was starting to worry that I may have twisted my foot wrong or something.  So for now on, until I get this evil machine on a desk, I have to sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the monitor.  I don't like kneeling, because I feel like I'm praying to the monitor.  

Well, I put my first Avon order in today.. Whoohhoo..  It's kind of strange though.  I've only gotten orders from people in the department who work in different buildings.  Is that weird, or what?  Well, I guess I should lay more brochures around the office.  I didn't get too many brochures this time, and I'm not the type of person, who will jump up and down and tell everyone in the building that I sell Avon--I'm definitely not the cheerleader type of person.   I was told to leave them in the bathrooms.  That might work.  While people are sitting in the toilet, they can look for mascara.  With my luck, they'll probably use it for toilet paper.  There has been a shortage of that lately... 

A Walk On The Beach

Unlike most Mondays, today was truly exceptional...

I got to spend some time with an old friend of mine over breakfast this morning.  I haven't really spent time with her lately, and it was nice to catch up.  We used to hang out a lot during my single days, but in between getting married, moving out of town, and having a baby, we sorta lost touch.  After breakfast, we hung out at the ole' mall we used to work at together and caught some really impressive sales..  We both got matching rhinestone watches at NY & Co for a whopping $7 each---cheaper than a battery, I know, and off at Sears we found stuff 90% off.  Can you believe I bought a really cute dress for $1.50?!  I did.  I put it on when I got home, and there were no holes or missing attachments.  I was thrilled.  I'll wear it tomorrow to work!

Anyways, after spending the morning with her, I went down to the wharf, and took a nice long, anticipated walk on the beach.  It was so beautiful there...  It was a nice warm day, with just a little breeze, and hardly anyone there at the beach.  I just took off my shoes, and went walking in the tide.  I LOVE, adore, walking on the beach.  Call me corny, but it's almost like a spiritual thing I need now and then.  I did a lot of it throughout those awful years before and after my divorce--it really gave me  some strange, healing power and strength which I really needed at the time.  Not to mention, it did help me lose quite a bit of weight--stress does that to me.  I'm not going through any turmoil or stress at this time of my life, but it was still nice to spend some alone down time near the ocean.  It was also a beautiful day, so the weather couldn't have been more perfect.

I did bump into someone for the past however...  I don't think this person noticed me at all, but it sure gave me a good giggle.

A long time ago, I used to work in the traffic/small claims division for the courts at the county I worked for.  I HATED the job with the passion.  During my employment there, I went through my divorce, and my supervisors were less than sympathetic to my ordeal.  They would not allow any personal phone calls, and in between calls from the attorney, and the real estate guy who was selling the house, it added a lot of stress.  To top it all, we didn't have an employee parking lot nearby, so I always had to find a parking space across from the building in a neighborhood near the Jack In The Box.  Well, each morning after I parked my car, I would see this guy ride his bike past me to the county building. 

So, every morning, like clockwork, there he was, and there I was, and we used to pass eachother by.  After awhile, we would exchange smiles and waves.  He was actually pretty cute--I will not lie.  A few times, he would actually ride his bicycle slow near my side, and we would exchange hellos, and some conversation.  I was still pretty shy back then, because I had just gone through a divorce, and I was pretty nervous about dating or being in another relationship, but I thought he was cute, and it wasn't long until I asked the other women at work if they "knew of him.." 

I soon found out where he worked, and where he lived---thanks to a little investigating by some of my co-workers.  After a few more encounters with the "bicycle guy", I decided to send him an email.  We exchanged a few, and with much courage, and encouragement from co-workers, I asked him if he had time to have a coffee sometime.

No answer.

Hmm.. I thought.

I saw him again the next morning.  He stopped again on his bike and explained, that he had to "explain a few things" to me beforehand, and we "would talk later.." 

I was stunned.  If things needed to be "explained" in order to have a cup of coffee, than something wasn't right.  I told him then and there, that, there would be no need for "talking", and I just totally ignored him and walked to work.

I guess I was a little hurt.  I told one of my friends at work, who immediately sent the mail run guy to check his desk to see if there were any tell tale signs of him being in another relationship, like pictures of a potential wife, or girlfriend on his desk.  We even asked him to check the desk to see if there were any "rainbows" around too.  My friend thought that he may be gay.  Poor bicycle guy was being spied on without his knowing...

Anyway, to make a long story very short, we no longer exchanged any conversation.  At times we waved hello, but I soon transferred out of that job, and I hardly ever saw him again, unless I happened to see him walking around downtown or on a bike.  I did see other women flirting with him in the hall, and by the look on his face, he looked truly annoyed, which made me to believe that perhaps he was in fact  was in a relationship already, and he knew I was there, and he thought of me as equally annoying as the blonde in the tight skirt flirting with him in th hallway of the county building. 

So, basically I only saw him a few times since, in between the years; but guess who ran past me on the beach?  Yep, bicycle guy, and he wasn't alone.  Apparently on the other side of the beach, was his guy "friend." From the body language displayed, I'm making an educated guess that the two are more than friends; no doubt about it.  Mystery solved!  I smiled to myself.  It all makes sense now; kinda.  But, WHY he couldn't just say... "Let's just be friends." is beyond me. 

I drove back to my mom's and got Nicholas, and we bought a pumpkin.  We later went to pick up Andrew from school, and went home.  It was a great day.  Damn, I wish I never had to work again... 

Adam wears eyeliner too!

Thanks Lyn, for reminding me of Adam Ant... :)

Look closely at this video.  Who does Adam Ant remind you of?  He looks a lot like that pirate guy, Johnny Depp, doncha think?  :) 

Yes, I liked Adam Ant too.  I had a thing for guys in makeup, back in the 80's.  They were pretty much all British too (if you haven't noticed yet..)  I have a think for accents.  My husband doesn't have an accent, but with the last name of "Langley" I think he has a lot of British in him.  Now, if only I could get him to use eyeliner... HA HA HA HA..  It just ain't going to happen.  He has nice blue eyes...and he would look so cute.  Not in a million years though. 

Lizzy had a lot of fun at the concert.  She even saw her former high school teacher rockin' out.  She brought home a t-shirt with the lead singer's face on the front.  Pretty funny.  I'm glad she had a good time.

Today was a slow Sunday.  I didn't go to church today, and I'm feeling a tad guilt stricken.  :(  I just did some chores around the house, and was taxi mom again.  I went to the grocery store, took my daughter to work, took my son and his friend to flag football, back and forth in circles..  I did talk to an old friend on the phone this afternoon.  I will meet with her tomorrow for lunch.  I also plan on taking a nice walk while Andrew is in school.  It will be a nice day off---may be I'll catch a movie even. 

I'm happy to say I've sold some stuff with Avon.  It is actually fun-to tell you the truth. The stuff pretty much sells by itself, I just have to pass out the brochures.  There are a lot of cute Christmas stuff on sale too.  I think I will buy a few pieces and put in my office so people can see. 

Oh my the way...  Eyeliner is on sale.

Happy Saturday

Nothing like a day at the dentist..hey?  Why do those visits always seem to ruin the rest of the day? 

I hate going to the dentist, but alas, it's a necessity.  I didn't see my regular dentist, and it was quite disappointing.  This dentist is not as gentle as the one I usually see.  Urr... 

The rest of the day (what was left of it) was spent cleaning out refridgerators, and taking my kids from point A to point B, with a headache and sore gums.  Right now my daughter is dancing away at a concert festival.  The main venue is THE CURE! 

Do you remember The Cure?

LOVE CATS:  This is for Dawn, and all the cat lovers out there... 

It's a cute video..  Not my favorite song they sing, but this one is cute.  Notice all the makeup.  What is it with 80's bands, and men in makeup?  I don't know--but the style is coming back.  Apparently my daughter's boyfriend's all time favorite band is The Cure.  Only the people I considered "cool" in high school listened to The Cure.  So, I guess the boyfriend isn't all that bad...

I saw a recent video of the lead singer.. He still is wearing full makeup and messed up hair, but he is middle aged and a little chubby---it is kind of sad..  Oh well. 

I'm off to make a batch of cookies.  My son Andrew has a friend over, Nicholas looks tierd, and I have to stay up until 1am to pick up my daughter and the boyfriend.  Why does it seem all the kids get all the fun?!