These Dreams...

I'm still tierd from last night's adventure in "dreamland".  I had two dreams that I remember vividly which is a little upsetting because they weren't particularly lovely.  I do understand however the meaning of both of them.  Please keep in mind that I had just attended a funeral that evening, so you can maybe understand my frame of mind.  I also ended up later eating a hamburger late at night at In And Out Burger, (eating late at night always cause me to have these dreams) while having a conversation with my brother and my mom, (the only people in the place over dressed in black attire) about the signs of the "last days" of Revelations.  Doesn't that sound lovely?  Well, let me share my dreams to you:

In the first dream, I'm in a car with my supervisor from work, and a male friend who I do not recognize.  We are driving down a highway through a very lush and green countryside, with white painted houses and Italian Cyprus.  I am sitting in the backseat, and the man is driving, and my supervisor is sitting in the passenger seat.  I comment how beautiful the countryside is, but they don't seem to hear me, or they are just simply ignoring me.  They are having their own conversation and it is as though they have forgotten I'm sitting there. We suddenly drive away from the countryside, and stop at a roadside restaurant for lunch.  I exit the car, and wait inside the lobby as the two park the car.  Inside, I meet an old friend in the lobby.  I do not recognize her at first because she has changed her haircolor, and she just doesn't look "right".  I ask her how she is, and she goes on to explain to me that she had been just recently diagnosed with cancer, but her doctor seems very optimistic that she will be fine.  I wish her well, and she goes on her way.  I'm still in the lobby, and the supervisor and her friend still don't show up.  I look out the window into the parking lot, and I realize that they drove off, leaving me alone at the restaurant. 

Meaning: (I think):  Recently my supervisor whom I share an adjoining office was recently diagnosed.  During the past three weeks, she has had numerous telephone conversations on the phone with her door open.  She had only confided in one person at the office in regards to her illness; another male supervisor.  I've heard all of the conversations (I am not deaf!!) including the one where she explains to her supervisor that she has not told anyone else in the building simply because she prefers not to talk about her surgery.  Because of this, I chose not to ask her or acknowledge of what I had heard in fear that it would be upsetting to her.  Instead, I've played "deaf".  I did want to wish her well before she left last week, but, she did not let me.  She left the office very rushed, saying, "See you when I see ya!"  All I could muster up was, "Take care."  It was an odd moment; and apparently it has stayed with me.  Of course by NOW everyone in the building knows about her situation; good news it looks like she is going to be fine. 

My second dream is more upsetting to me.  I'm driving down a very flooded street, and I my car sinks into a flooded street.  Two of my children are with me, and although I am able to swim out of my vehicle, I'm unable to revive them.  I'm shouting at them to wake up, until I finally wake up.  Meaning:  I know this dream is a reflection of a fear I possess of being unable to protect my children.  I know the funeral of my uncle brought this dream on; seeing his children, my cousins grieving at the service.  The service also brought on memories of how my own father was there for me, worrying and protecting us.  I don't think I'm ever going to feel like I can "let go" of having the need to be able to protect my children from all from harm's way.  And then there is the fear, that I won't be able to.  Sometimes I wish they were still all babies confined to cribs, wrapped tightly in their blankets, safe and snug from all the evils of the world.