Hello, Tuesday/Identity Crisis

                                                 

 

Well, I wrote a whole big entry yesterday afternoon, but, after I pressed the SAVE button, it went to a blank screen---connection lost...  Errr...  I was so peeved, I didn't feel like going back to retype the whole thing again, so I didn't. 

Yesterday was a cold, and rainy day.  I had some errands to run with my mother, and I didn't start work until later that morning, and I missed getting my cup of coffee--which threw me way off from my morning routine.  It's weird, but if I don't have that one cup of coffee, it throws me off, and I just don't function well for some reason.  I can't have more than one cup, but that cup--really gets me on track.  I know it's weird, but I was so out of it.  I didn't want to walk out in the rain to get my coffee, and I didn't want to drive anywhere either.  I did go to the drug store, and forgot to buy the one item that I needed the most, diapers.. (yes, Nicholas is still NOT potty trained), but I managed to buy other things like tomato soup, a random Christmas mug, and cocoa-hoping it would replace my urge for the coffee.  Well, it didn't work, because I wanted to wash my mug, and with all the pee testing of clients that is done in our building bathroom, the thought of cleaning the mug in there in that smelly bathroom, made me want to forget the whole entire idea altogether. Weird how that happens.  I had my tomato soup, and that worked, but it didn't stop me from going through the Taco Bell Drive Thru and get nachos--evil nachos..

However, today, is a sunshine day!!  Hoorah!!  It's a little chilly, but I can take the chill, I just HATE driving in the rain.  I hate driving in the rain, in the dark with a passion.  Last night, was not fun driving through the mountains.  I can do rain during the day, but at night--it's just not my cup of tea.  Way too many people drive too fast, or too slow, and you never know what might be jumping out of the woods suddenly--like a deer. or a raccoon or a skunk..who knows, even a bear.  It freaks me out when I see a number of dead wild animals out there on the side of the road.  It's almost as scary as finding cowsstanding there on the highway---yes, it happens.  It happened to me one evening in the Azores, Portugal.  Not one cow, but TWO cows just standing there on the slow lane.  Two cows, and then later, a very large rat racing across the street in front of me--all equally scary, meriting a very loud scream.  I won't even mention the day of the flying white crane birds that once flew over my car.  Now that was SCARY..  One day, while driving by the ocean, a big wave hit my car--now that however, was kinda cool!

My daughter is busy doing her Women of Color History class, and she sat me down last night with lots of questions about how my parents, and how I was raised...etc..  She wanted birth dates, of her grandparents, her father and mine..etc..  I think she knows quite a bit already about how I was raised, what I was expected to do in life-culturally wise, so she didn't ask too many questions.  I don't know how descriptive she is going to be to the class, that is her decision.  She is only 18, and most of the other women in her class are older, who have had more experiences in life, and although, my daughter is Portuguese, it is automatically assumed that she is Italian, simply because her last name looks Italian.  Her main problem so far is the way people tend to spell her name wrong.  Her last name is Vicente, but people want to spell it Vincente, or people want to pronounce it : VICHENTE.  One of her former teachers in high school tried to correct her by saying.  "Well, you have been pronouncing your name WRONG your entire life."  That is irritating.  The correct way to pronounce it, in Portuguese is "VEE CENT"  the pronouncing of the E at the end is optional--I pronounce it so it's easier to recognize, but usually, it's silent in correct Portuguese.

  I mean, there is nothing wrong with being Italian--I have always been assumed to be Italian myself.  In school, I wasn't dark enough to be labeled as "Hispanic", and through my friends whom are Hispanic, the will correct me right away and say that I am NOT Hispanic.  Okay..  We are Portuguese.  We could be labeled as "Latin" I suppose, or Mediterranean.  But there is always that comment that ALWAYS comes up,  "But, you don't LOOK Portuguese.."  Hell, what does Portuguese LOOK LIKE?  Please tell me.  There is no real clear description--it depends on where you live.  If you live in the Azores, you may have people with light hair and more pale skin--you might have light colored eyes, or you may have olive colored skin, and dark eyes, and hair.  On the main land, if you live up North, you may look Basque, more to the South, you may have darker skin..  You may live in Africa, and have black skin, or Indian..you may even be considered Asian...  We are all over.  I hate labels--I really do. 

Okay, time to decorate my boss' office for a baby shower.  Thank God it's not for me!!